KSBN 979-7-729-00012-X　Insane Advocate及其兩名友人的旁徵博引《動畫物理學百篇定律》　劉參陽編譯

前言

《動畫物理學百篇定律》收錄了在各類動漫之中，往往會在虛擬世界（司殷劉世界謂之「二次元」）出現的各種宇宙、物理及自然現象。原意在於歸納出可能在動漫虛擬世界之中發生之事件，成為用來解釋『動畫的物理學與我們的現實世界（司殷劉世界謂之「三次元」）之間差異』的「定律」。我們希望讀者在閱讀此物時能夠將之受用於對動漫的研究，或者會心一笑。

第一定律「形上變則定律」（Law of Metaphysical Irregularity，劉參陽譯：「元物理失效定律」）：常規的物理定律不會常駐於二次元。

第二定律「重力差異定律」（Law of Differential Gravitation）：當某人或某物跳起或被拋起，總之是在離地的情況，重力將會減至三次元的四分之一。
．即：在急降（plummeting）直至著地或與車輛或他人的頭顱相撞的時候，物品會在空中漂浮一段時間。

第三定律「聲音增幅定律」（Law of Sonic Amplification）／「動漫聲學第一定律」（First Law of Anime Acoustics）：在太空，爆破之類的聲音，強度會大於在大氣層中同樣的聲音。
．劉參陽譯註：空氣在這裡被認為是聲音的障礙物。但是，在事實上，空氣應該是傳遞聲音的媒介。

第四定律「恆定推進定律」（Law of Constant Thrust）／「動漫運動學第一定律」（First Law of Anime Motion）：在太空，恆定的推進力等於恆定的速度。
．劉參陽譯註：在事實上，在沒有阻力的情況下，恆定的推進力是會使速度一直增加，直至到達接近光速為止；而根據「牛頓第一定律」，只要沒有淨力（所有的力都抵銷了），就能維持恆定的速度，所以，在沒有阻力的太空，不需要推進也可以維持恆定的速度。

第五定律「機械機動性定律」（Law of Mechanical Mobility）／「動漫運動學第二定律」（Second Law of Anime Motion）：機器愈大，移動速度愈快。所以，在人類科學已知的領域，配備裝甲的載人機械是最快的物體。

第六定律「時間可變定律」（Law of Temporal Variability）：時間不是恆定不變的。當主角進行了一些具魅力的行為，時間就會停止。而在主角的愛人／戀人或友人被殺時，時間會減慢（即變成慢動作）；在戰爭或戰鬥進行時，時間會加速（即快轉）。

第七定律「死亡時間定律」（Law of Temporal Mortality）：正派與反派都會以下述兩種形式的其中一種死去：快得他們來不及作出反應；或者長得使其他角色可以洞悉關於社會的運作、人類的存在、甚至「吐司麵包在著地時塗了牛油的一面必然朝下」的原因。
．原文註：有時，動漫裡的主角或大反派，是絕對不會的確死了。在這些罕有情況下，死的只會是一些複製人或者機械改造人（Cyborg），而那主角或大反派的真身就會突然失蹤，來到「鐵鎚空間」（Malletspace）之類的地方。

第八定律「死亡時間第二定律」（Second Law of Temporal Mortality）：反派角色的死亡通常需要一點時間…不論他/她所受到的物理傷害。就算他們在被殺的時候來不及作出反應，他們都需要一段時間才會意識到他們已經死了。這與提倡「邪惡會對腦部專司意識的部分造成破壞」的公理有關。

第九定律「戲劇性強調定律」（Law of Dramatic Emphasis，劉參陽譯：「戲劇性渲染定律」）：牽涉到極度動作的情節會以 定格 或 黑底配以顏色明亮的刀痕（通常是白色或紅色） 描繪。

第十定律「戲劇性重覆定律」（Law of Dramatic Multiplicity）：一些「只可一、不可再」（或「可遇而不可求」，足球比賽旁白黃興桂稱之「有今生無來世」）的情節會以最少三個不同的視野角度重覆呈現最少三次。
．例如：正派角色把反派角色擊倒的時候。

第十一定律「固有可燃性定律」（Law of Inherent Combustibility，劉參陽譯：「萬有爆破定律」）：所有東西都會爆炸。
．第一推論：舉凡即將爆炸之物必先膨脹。
．第二推論：在人類科學已知的領域，大城市是最具爆炸性的物質。顯然，東京在眾城市當中看來是最不穩定的，所以也有「火柴城」之稱。

第十二定律「燃素散發定律」（Law of Phlogistatic Emission，劉參陽譯：「重創照明定律」）：幾乎所有的致命傷口都會發光。

第十三定律「能量散發定律」（Law of Energetic Emission）：在機械或太空船／航天船著火之前，都會有能量散發出來。因為兵器通常都具備爆炸性，所以這被認為與 第十一定律「固有可燃性定律」 有關。

第十四定律「威力反比例定律」（Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude）：任何生物或物體的破壞力與其質量成反比例。
．第一推論：嬌小玲瓏者通常會比醜陋的龐然大物優秀。亦稱「A子效應」（A-Ko phenomenon）。

第十五定律「無窮盡定律」（Law of Inexhaustibility）：子彈永遠不會有耗盡的時候。當然，在被困、尚未有意識、未入流者的情況下除外。

第十六定律「命中率反比例定律」（Law of Inverse Accuracy）：對於正派角色，其操作任何槍械的時候，愈難命中就會愈準確。而對於反派角色，其操作槍械的時候，愈易命中就會愈不準確。又稱「星戰白兵效應」（the Stormtrooper Effect）。
．例：正派角色在不省人事的時候操作槍械時，會經常命中其希望擊中的移動目標；而幾個營（即接近一萬人，一營有500-1500人）的反派角色向一名站在戰場中間的正派角色射擊（近似槍決的處境），就經常打不中。
．第一推論：參與射擊的反派角色愈多，其命中率或造成傷害的機率愈低。
．第二推論：每當正派角色面臨一個不能克服的逆境之時，反派角色通常會排成整齊的一排，使得主角可以用一下連發殲滅全數敵軍且可逃離戰場。
．第三推論：每當正派角色被反派角色擊中的時候，被擊中的部位會在內部敲定的「正派領域」（Good Guy Area）裡，通常是肩膀或手臂（還是皮外傷）。這使得被擊中的正派角色不能夠進行比駕駛或操作槍械或近距離武器或重型機械，或複雜的武術手法更加費力的事情。
．第四推論：反派角色射擊的發數愈多，其能擊中的次數愈少。

第十七定律「短暫浪漫不可靠定律」（Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability）：少女通常會為負心漢所欺騙。
．註：有少部分屬於俄亥俄州的人反對這項觀點。

第十八定律「血液容量定律」（Law of Hemoglobin Capacity）：人體含有超過12美制加侖（即45.2公升）的血液（有時會更多）。當中，血液是以高度壓縮的方式儲存的。
．劉參陽譯註：根據紅十字會的說法，「三次元的人類8%的體重屬於血液」，而「一次獻血的份量（350毫升或450毫升）則屬於其中8%的血液」，故三次元的成人本來應該只有4.5公升至5.5公升的血液，有別於動漫世界的45.2公升或以上。

第十九定律「惡魔形態一致定律」（Law of Demonic Consistency）：惡魔或者其他的超自然生物都會有最少三隻眼睛、滿口獠牙、膚色趨向黃綠色或棕色（或許會有黑色）、都只有銳利的兵器能夠傷害牠們。
．註：強酸也對牠們有效。

第二十定律「軍國主義無用定律」（Law of Militaristic Unreliability）：尺寸媲美星系的船艦、全數的軍隊、大型的戰鬥機器，裡面充斥著無數個嗜血無情且兇殘的戰士。這些都只需要一個關懷或愛的微不足道的表達（或者一首歌曲）就可以擊敗。
．第一推論：當一台戰鬥機器（飛船、機械兵之類）反抗整支軍隊，該支軍隊將會戰敗。

第二十一定律「戰略無用定律」（Law of Tactical Unreliability）：戰略天才並不是……

第二十二定律「不合理細節盲點定律」（Law of Inconsequential Undetectability，劉參陽譯：「無理失策定律」）：人們永遠不會留意細節，例如不見了某些零件，或者像西雅圖那麼大的傷口。

第二十三定律「少年智能定律」（Law of Juvenile Intellectuality，劉參陽譯：「年齡．智能 反比定律」）：小孩子比成人聰明，還比成人麻煩差不多一倍。

第二十四定律「美國人形態定律」（Law of Americanthromorphism，劉參陽譯：「美國人二分化定律」）：在動漫裡的美國人會分成兩種人：形象邪惡且瘦削的反派，以及形象單純且魁梧的正派。
．第一推論：比起形象單純且魁梧的正派美國人，美國的譯者更笨蛋。亦稱「綠界效應」（the Green Line Effect）。
．第二推論：比起美國的譯者，美國的編輯與審查者更笨蛋。
．第三推論：加拿大人通常都會被描繪成既聰明又強健且帥氣的正派角色。

第二十五定律「顎比例定律」（Law of Manibular Proportionality）：人的口部與其進食及說話的音量成正比例。

第二十六定律「貓科突變定律」（Law of Feline Mutation）：任何具備半貓半人之特徵的異變者都會不約而同地是：
　．女性
　．長出貓耳朵，或者會有貓尾巴，作為基因的變異表現
　．如果有衣服的話，衣著會儘量單薄

第二十七定律「火力保留定律」（Law of Conservation of Firepower）：任何可以一擊將對方秒殺的兵器都會被保留著，被視為「最後的下策」。

第二十八定律「科技對用者善良定律」（Law of Technological User-Benevolence）：操作太空船或機械兵器時，其複雜程度與所需的正式訓練份量成反比例。

第二十九定律「短距離發光定律」（Law of Melee Luminescence，劉參陽譯：「靈氣光學定律」）：當有生物具備極高水準的武術造詣 及/或 極端的情緒時，其即會發出一層發光的「靈氣」（Aura）。這種靈氣，對於正派角色會是藍色的；而對於反派角色會是紅色的。因為在電磁波的光譜中，正派者的能量通常高於反派者。

第三十定律「非人反派定律」（Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism）：所有醜陋且與人類形態有極大分別的外星種族全部都是具敵意的（hostile），並經常因為不為人知的原因而極度執意於（hell-bent on）毀滅人類文化。

第三十一定律「毛髮顏色可變定律」（Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability）：任何在可見光譜裡的顏色也可以成為天然的毛髮顏色。而且，毛髮顏色的轉換可以不需要任何知會或解釋理由。

第三十二定律「毛髮持久定律」（Law of Follicular Permanence，劉參陽譯：「髮質守恆定律」）：在動漫世界裡的頭髮是不能破壞的，而且對任何物理攻擊、能量、氣象狀況、爆炸效果俱能持有抗性，在被攻擊之後仍然能夠毫「髮」未傷。惟一可以傷害一人毛髮的方法與閣下對付惡魔時所用之對策一樣－－使用刀槍劍戟之類的銳器吧！

注意：原來的第三十三定律已經尋獲。
第三十三定律「拓撲航空動力學定律」（Law of Topological Aerodynamics）／「動漫航空動力學第一定律」（First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics）：任何形狀，不管它如何複雜(convoluted)、奇怪，都是能夠減弱空氣阻力的設計。

第三十四定律「服裝可能性定律」（Law of Probable Attire）：在動漫世界裡的衣服遵循著一些可預測的特徵：
　．女性角色的衣著將會儘量單薄，無論社會、文化、氣象（meteorologics）是否容許。
　．女性角色過多的衣著將會不能避免地被撕碎，若果真的沒有撕碎其衣服的機會，她就會在沒有明顯理由的情況下洗澡（即「突如其來的洗澡情節」）
　．在遇上逆風（headwind）的時候，男性角色都會不約而同地穿著一件長袍，還是不會阻礙（hamper）其行動，或者被吹起
．第一推論「耐寒論」（Cryo-Adaptability）：動漫裡的角色都能夠抵受極低的溫度，所以在冰天雪地也不需要穿上厚厚的衣服。
．第二推論「違理防禦論」（Indecent Invulnerability）：穿著比基尼泳裝的角色無視任何形式的攻擊、傷害。
．第三推論「衣著持久論」（Probable Attire permanence，劉參陽譯「衣著守恆定律」）：沒有東西能夠傷害主角的衣著。他們的袍、披風、（對女性角色：裙、絲帶結）其他鬆動的衣著在受到冰或火的攻擊都只會飄動而已……十八禁作品除外。而有一說法謂衣著是以動漫人物的頭髮製成的（參見第三十二定律及第四十八定律）。

第三十五定律「音樂家全能定律」（Law of Musical Omnipotence）：在動漫世界裡，擅長奏樂或歌唱（即具備音樂才能者）的人將會自動學會所有技能，例如操縱機械、撲滅罪案、結束星際戰爭之類……尤其以他們從未嘗試者為甚。

第三十六定律「五部集結定律」（Law of Quintupular Agglutination）：又稱「五人小隊定則」（The Five-man Rule），當正派角色形成團體時，會趨向於五人一組，五人俱有其基本位置：
．主角／統領
．主角的愛人
．主角最要好的朋友／良性競爭者（亦敵亦友俱可）
．體格魁梧有如猛獸的人
．矮人／小孩
在這些基本位置之間，也會有不同的屬性之分，例如：
．極其冷靜
．具備魅力
．智能過人
．引人煩躁

第三十七定律「異次元空間定律」（Law of Extradimensional Capacitance）：在動漫世界裡，所有女性角色都會有一個用以儲存物品的異空間，容量因人而異，在需要時，她們都可以在短時間內由身上某一處拿出所需的物體。這種空間也有「鐵鎚空間（"Malletspace"）」之稱。
．第一推論「鐵鎚空間定則」（The Hammer Rule）：最常見的儲藏物包括一個重量級的鐵鎚，以及服裝、制服、戰衣、鎧甲，還有大型的火箭炮（bazooka）。

第三十八定律「靜水學散發定律」（Law of Hydrostatic Emission，劉參陽譯：「汗淚分泌定律」）：在動漫裡，眼睛趨向較大。這是因為其儲存著數以美制加侖計的（十公升～三十公升左右）水，可以經過大型的淚管以高壓即時（instantaneously）釋放出來。眼睛內的實際儲水量尚是未知之數，因為目前還沒有證據（evidence）指出這種水庫（reservoir）會有耗盡的時候。淚水趨向於儲存在眼睛之內，因為動漫人物都只有一個很大的汗腺，位處後腦。當處身於極大壓力或極度尷尬或擔憂，這個惟一的汗腺就會滲出（exude）很大的一滴類似油脂（sebaceous）的流體（fluid）。

第三十九定律「魅力反比例定律」（Law of Inverse Attraction）：閣下為追求同伴所付出的努力與其成功率成反比例。希望愈多，所得愈少；希望愈少，所得愈多。
．第一推論：很不幸地，這項定律似乎對身在真實世界的御宅族有效。

第四十定律「鼻血定律」（Law of Nasal Sanguination）：當受到性刺激時，對於男性角色，其陰莖不會勃起，卻會流鼻血（註：這有別於在現實世界的男性通常會有的生理反應），但是沒有人知道為何…現今的理論指出眼睛愈大，鼻竇就會愈小，鼻竇組織就會愈薄（請參見第三十八定律）。而女性角色不會流鼻血，卻會不約而同地臉紅起來（區域橫跨兩旁顴骨以及鼻樑），表示該區域出現大量血流。

第四十一定律「木質割裂定律」（Law of Xylolaceration）：木劍或竹劍通常有如金屬劍一般鋒利，甚至有過之而無不及。

第四十二定律「少年全能定律」（Law of Juvenile Omnipotence）：一位孩子通常可以完成一名成人的工作，這需要一半的時間，以及雙倍的擔憂(angst，德語用法)。

第四十三定律「四十三恐懼症定律」（Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia）：「第四十三定律」並不存在。

第四十四定律「名稱叫喚定律」（Law of Nominative Clamovocation）：武術攻擊的破壞力與成功率 與 發動者喚出攻擊招式名稱時的音量 成正比，又稱「龜波氣功效應」（Kamehameha effect）。

第四十五定律「變身途中無敵定律」（Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis）：無論變身所需時間如何的長，或反派角色看過變身過程的次數，反派角色目睹主角或者機械的變身之時都會被震懾（stunned）而無法使用任何方法以阻止變身。

第四十六定律「變裝定律」（Law of Flimsy Incognition）：只要換上另外一套服裝，或者戴上一面微小（teensy）的面具，就是連你最親密的朋友、親屬也完全（utterly）不能夠把你認出來。

第四十七定律「呼出空氣易燃定律」（Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission）：動漫角色的呼吸系統之內都會有一種未知的化學物質可以與具辣味或灼熱的食物產生極其劇烈的反應。這種化學物質也能夠使得在盛怒之中的角色（通常是女性）的眼睛著火、並能夠噴火。

第四十八定律「觸電火燒不死定律」（Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism）：當閣下觸電（electrocute）或者被火燒的時候，閣下必能活著。儘管閣下全身都被燒焦（scorch）了，不消數秒，閣下的皮膚將會完好無缺（又稱「皮卡丘效應／比卡超效應」（Pikachu Effect））。
第一推論：當一名會用魔法的反派發動火或風或冰的攻擊，這只會使得主角以逆風的姿勢站著，眼睛緊閉且伴有一聲慘叫，但還是毫髮未傷。這也可以用第三十二定律、第三十四定律解釋，第四十四定律有時也行。

第四十九定律「女性憤怒定律」（Law of Female wrath）：當女性角色受到男性角色的侮辱，這名男子就會受到鐵鎚或霰彈槍或坦克車的攻擊，而如果該女性角色會用魔法的話，就會是火球之類的，直擊頭部、身體或其他部位，例子有《秀逗魔導士》／《魔劍美神》的主角　Lina Inverse與Gourry_Gabriev，故此定律也有所謂「魔導士因素」（"Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor"）之說。因為他罪有應得，這樣做還可以幫助他應付現今的社會。（此時，作者因為此言之真實性而抽泣起來）

第五十定律「作者色慾定律」（Law of Artistic Perversion）：大多數（不是全部）動漫的作者都是色狼一名，他們都會想像（under the impression）女性願意脫衣或穿著極小且暴露（revealing）的衣著。不幸地，很多喜愛十八禁作品者都是在如此想像。

第五十一定律「名稱叫喚途中無敵定律」（Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation）：這是第四十四定律與第四十五定律的混合體。無論遠程攻擊或魔法的發動步驟如何需時如何複雜，還有其因為發動者喚出攻擊招式名稱時的音量而衡量出來的破壞力與成功率，或反派角色看過名稱叫喚過程的次數，在主角喚出攻擊招式名稱的時候，反派角色都會被震懾而無法使用任何方法以阻止主角發動招式。又稱「龍僕現象」（Dragon Slave Phenomenon）。

第五十二定律「心靈感應遺忘定律」（Law of Telepathic Obliviousness）：有些動漫角色（通常是男性）當存有私人的幻想（有如他們破壞一樣物體一般隱密），或者關於性事的幻想之時，通常會有其他具備心靈感應能力的角色在場。可能原因有二：
．存有幻想者忘記了在場的旁觀者具備心靈感應能力
．存有幻想者不在乎這種事情的發生
而旁觀者沒有反應的原因如下：
．他們正在專注於其他的事情
．他們不想炫耀或張揚其心靈感應的能力
．他們根本不在乎這種事情的發生

第五十三定律「顏色多樣性定律」（Law of Chromatic Diversity）：空氣的顏色可以是可見光譜之中任何一種顏色。

第五十四定律「老丑角定律」（Law of Old Man Comic Relief）：丑角通常會以矮小、禿頭、骯髒但能言善辯的老人或外星人的形態出現，同時具備其中兩項特徵（trait）者亦可。
．第一推論：當有老人出現且其表現過於好色或愚蠢之類……都總會有一名老嫗用平底鍋或其他物體重擊（whap）這老人的頭。

第五十五定律「老賢者定律」（Law of the Wise Old Man）：矮小的日本籍老人總會知道事件最後的結果並將真相扣住（withhold），守口如瓶，尤對主角為甚。這包括具備特殊能力的兵器、古代的遺跡（relic），還有全知的人。

第五十六定律「全能無用定律」（Law of Omnipotent Unreliability）：任何具備全能（Omnipotent）的力量或武器的反派角色都不會在適當的時候對正派角色使用這種「必勝方案」。
．第一推論：所有反派角色都有一種「反派式炫耀屬性」，使得他們以威脅正派角色來舉例說明（exemplify）其妙技（prowess），但不會把這樣妙技用在正派角色的身上。
．第二推論：反派角色都不會使用其新穎的秘密武器，或者較為優越（superior）的軍備（military device），除非……
　．控制器損毀。
　．控制器被正派角色搶走了。
　．控制器根本沒效。
　．反派角色已經不能使用這種軍備的時候。

第五十七定律「角膜體積下限定律」（Law of Minimum Corneal Volume，劉參陽譯：「眼球尺寸下限定律」）：眼睛的面積佔臉孔面積的最少六分之一。如果對於金髮女郎，這項定律更加有效。

第五十八定律「頭髮電荷定律」（Law of Electrical Charges in Hair）：當頭髮吸收電力之後，其效果取決於所吸收的電荷類型：
．正極：頭髮將會豎起，狀似刺蝟。
．負極：頭髮將會向下分散。

第五十九定律「彈藥命中率定律」（Law of Ammunition Accuracy）：當有多種子彈選擇的時候，不致命的子彈將會比標準或致命的子彈更加準確。

第六十定律「對女性魅力定律」（Law of Active Female Attraction）：在喜劇類型的系列之中，男性角色「針對女性的吸引力」與其追求異性所付出的心力成反比例。
劉參陽譯註：作者對事半功倍及事倍功半所列舉的例證各有三，因為在下無法循維基搜尋資料，請恕在下將資料扣住了。

第六十一定律「汗孔面積可變定律」（Law of Sweat Pore Variability）：在尷尬或棘手（awkward）的情況下，體內所有汗孔都會收縮，在前額的汗孔除外。在前額的汗孔都會擴張，一滴汗也可以填滿一個一公升的容器。

第六十二定律「訓練時間反比定律」（Law of Inverse Training Time）：一人經過三年訓練，是永遠不會比經過一個月訓練者優秀的。

第六十三定律「社會地位需求定律」（Law of Needs to Few and Many）：多數者需要的東西，重於（outweigh）少數者（甚至一國之君）需要的東西。

第六十四定律「無效幽默定律」（Law of Needs to Bad Humor）：每當在某一角色試圖表現得有趣之時，無論他的舉動實際上是否好笑，其他角色都會（甚至包括動物在內）都會四腳朝天。有時會伴有（因為無奈而生出的）汗水。
．牛的叫聲通常也會產生呼應的作用。

第六十五定律「極度暴怒定律」（Law of Extreme Anger）：每當一名女性角色陷入暴怒之時，例如男性角色疑似移情別戀的舉動（例如他與其他女性同行之時），此女性角色就會變得極為強壯（儘管她平常時如何柔弱亦然），以使她可以抬起重量接近1000噸的物體以傷害此男性角色。她有時會施以其他殘酷的懲罰，例如緊緊捏住男性角色的臉孔，緊得足以使其面容變形。參見第四十九定律「女性憤怒定律」。

第六十六定律「重力差異效果定律」（Law of Differentiated Gravitation）
．第一推論：如果一台航空器超越機體本身兩倍的高度或以上，重力將會以與向上的動量及機體推進時的重量（若在距離任何重力源500公里以內）相關的反係數減少。
．第二推論：重力的加速度（在三次元的地球為9.80665公尺/平方秒）與機體「實際上的」速度成反比例。事實上，好像在飛向一個硬地停泊場的航空器會真正著陸，並產生一個大約相當於787公克的向下壓力。除非這機體屬於反派，在此情況下，這定律將會神奇地倒置，重力將會以幾何級數增加，然後，使得其機體難以向上推進。

劉參陽譯註．第六十六定律　外傳「重力差異效果定律．參陽式」
．第一推論：對於航空器，當其上升時，施加於航空器的重力將會減少。
．第二推論：正派角色的機體會因為重力的減少而易於著陸；而反派角色的機體將會因為重力的增加而難以起飛。

第六十七定律「緊張氣氛補償定律」（Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension）：當氣氛變得緊張／沉重／凝重的時候，正派角色的魅力將會依照相應的比例提升，以作補償。當這項補償沒有出現的時候，反派角色就會不可避免地（inevitably）在最頂層現形。但是，這也會導致氣氛更加緊張，這必然會導致正派角色的魅力依照相應的比例提升，以作補償。

第六十八定律「強制性機體操作定律」（Law of Coercive Vehicular Control）：無論控制系統如何複雜或者清晰，角色操作任何類型的機體經常能夠憑藉不能探測的（undetectable）潛意識（subconscious）意志力（psychokinesis）成功操作之。
．第一推論：角色能夠利用機體達致無視正常物理學的行為（參見第一定律及「恆定推進定律」）。機體的速度、方向、牽引力似乎都受駕駛者的意志操縱，而動作、手法的複雜程度及危險程度俱與意志的絕對控制程度成正比例。
．第二推論：除非駕駛者願意（consent），要將駕駛權取去或牽制（disrupt）機體的航行是不可能的事。但這推論並不一定對反派角色奏效，或者正派角色，在氣氛會愈來愈緊張的情況之下（基於「氣氛緊張補償定律」）。

第六十九定律「氣氛緊張補償定律．修正案」（Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension）：當在氣氛會愈來愈緊張，而正派角色的能力沒有相應提升的情況之下，反派角色不僅通常會在最頂層現身，還會使得其氣燄更為囂張。

第七十定律「疾走背景效果定律」（Law of The Rushing Background Effect）：當出現戲劇性的事件，就會喚起角色的求生本能（survival instinct），遂使得迎面而來的間接即時刺激（stimulus）以無意義的模糊背景表達。這也稱為「疾走背景效果」。因應腦部活動及血液內腎上腺素（adrenaline）水平上升，這種效果有時會以慢動作的形態呈現。

第七十一定律「跨次元鐵鎚定律」（Law of Interdimensional Hammers）：當一名女性角色目睹其所注意的男性角色進行了任何類型的可疑行為（例如：凝視其他女性，或被此女性理解或分析（construe）為會使此男性起色心之物），她就可以通過一個異次元空間（通常位於她的背後），拿出一個巨型的鐵鎚，以由上而下直擊此男性。（參見第三十七、四十九、六十五定律）

第七十二定律「瞬間OK繃定律」（Law of Instant Band-Aids，劉參陽譯「上帝OK繃定律」）：當一名角色受傷（通常是爆頭，或者被硬物襲擊），OK繃就會立刻在傷處出現（經常會以兩片排成交叉的形式出現）。這些OK繃會在大多數情況下，在下一幕就會消失。

第七十三定律「通用銳器防禦術定律」（Law of Universal Edge Defense）：只要持著一把帥氣的劍或者其他銳器，把它擋在攻擊者面前，就能夠輕鬆地擋開任何發射攻擊，從魔法至子彈雨亦然。常見的情況是銳器切開攻擊，使其向防禦者的左右兩旁分開，無法對防禦者造成傷害。常見於武術動漫或「劍與魔法」類型的動漫。

第七十四定律「理智守恆定律」（Law of Intractable Sanity）：動漫世界無所謂「瘋狂」之物。當動漫角色遇到使大多數人發瘋的超自然恐怖力量，他們會：
．快速死亡（但受其他定律制約，例如減慢）
．臣服於此力量，尤對美女或準備強奪／強姦（ravish）美女之人為甚，或
．把此力量消除，善刀而藏之，輕鬆地去如黃鶴

第七十五定律「神器操縱定律」（Law of Celestial Body Control）：在一個適當的戲劇性時刻，主角能夠召喚出一個太陽／月亮／光環（halo）／發光物體以在主角背後出現，製成一個戲劇性的剪影（silhouette）。

第七十六定律「記憶清除力量定律」（Law of Aura of Forgetfulness）：當主角不希望公開其身份的時候，不論其裝扮如何，也不會有人記得其身份，因為所有在主角旁邊的人都會失憶。不然，月野兔（著名動漫人物Sailor Moon之原名，劉參陽譯Sailor Moon為「月航者」）如何能夠掩人耳目呢？

第七十七定律「頭髮接合定律」（Law of Cool Hair Factor）：主角的頭髮都會接合（coalesce）成幾條能夠覆蓋臉孔的粗綑，而無視風向或其他因素（參見第三十二、四十八定律）。

第七十八定律「對策力反比定律」（Law of Inverse Coping）：在動漫之中，事件往往會發生在最不能應付相應事件的一名角色身上。

第七十九定律「武術造詣無敵定律」（Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability）：一定程度的武術技能可以使你強壯得能夠赤手空拳一掌阻止一個核子導彈／飛彈。只是，不幸者為，對於大多數的御宅族，他們體會到這種定律對現實世界無效。

第八十定律「典型艦長形態定律」（Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics）：當船艦的艦長是男性的話，他必定會頂著一頂很大的艦長帽，穿著一套很長的外套，還有粗糙的（shaggy）鬍子（可能會有煙斗），他還會是一名大戰略家（tactician）。在艦長是女性的情況，她都會很年輕，身材不俗，而且可能會相當笨拙（ditzy）（在作者是好色之徒的情況下）。但是，她還仍然會是一名大戰略家。

第八十一定律「陰影．魅力因素定律」（Law of Shades/Coolness Factor）：陰影會使得角色的表現立刻變得很酷，即使他/她本身是一個笨蛋（klutz）亦然。

第八十二定律「變態作品劇情定律」（Law of Hentai Plot）：對於變態動漫（即十八禁之色情作品），針對劇情的任何變化，適當的回應在於開始性交。

第八十三定律「保守陳述定律」（Law of Understatement）：任何被認為／相信（deemed）是不可能的事情都會是可能的。
．第一推論：當主角達成了一定程度的目標之時，都會大叫「這…這是不可能的！！」的反派角色都必然會太遲醒悟過來，然後就是……死。

第八十四定律「潛能激發定律」（Law of Dormant Powers）：被反派逼至絕境的主角都會釋放出超越主角本身認知的力量／動作……然而，一切都在主角的師傅所計算的結果之內。

第八十五定律「能力係數定律」（Law of Style Coefficient）：當正派角色面臨一個窘局（dire strait）時，其即會在短時間內變得更強壯、更聰明、更有魅力（參見第六十七、六十九、八十四定律）。

第八十六定律「反派氣燄定律」（Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor）：當壞人成功擊倒主角的時候，他們就會開始失控地幸災樂禍（gloat），因為「邪不勝正」的道理。他們就會相當驕傲（cocky），而他們會把主角綁在運輸帶（conveyor belt）上，使其自動面臨毀滅，然後領便當去了。
結果通常會是：
．主角逃脫成功
．反派的手下要負責處理善後
．壞人反而會死

第八十七定律「餐具從缺定律」（Law of Tableware Nonexistence）：這裡完全沒有調羹／匙的存在。

第八十八定律「性慾觸發物定律」（Law of Goofy Turn-Ons）：對於變態動漫（即十八禁之色情作品），在正常的情況下，一些常見的（pedestrian）物品有時可以誘發性高潮或性慾。有時包括暖水、在平滑的桌面上打滾、風、輕微的觸電、在洗澡後以毛巾蔽體之人、還有一些很冷的物品，例如一瓶汽水。

第八十九定律「陰莖尺寸差異定律」（Law of Penile Variance）：對於變態動漫（即十八禁之色情作品），所有男性角色都會有一個大得荒謬的陰莖（通常為20～28公分）。有更甚者甚至可與電燈柱相比，雖然這種特徵會與血液缺乏相關……

第九十定律「變態作品女性特徵定律」（Law of Hentai Female Characteristics-）：對於變態動漫（即十八禁之色情作品），所有女性角色都會有以下特徵：
．非常敏感 且/或 非常大的乳房，伴以大乳頭。
．非常敏感 且/或 非常狹窄的陰道。

第九十一定律「陰道尺寸差異定律」（Law of Vaginal Variance）：對於變態動漫（即十八禁之色情作品），所有女性角色的陰道都能夠使男性角色的陰莖完全插入，就算她們都可能有一個非常敏感 且/或 非常狹窄的陰道亦然。

第九十二定律「主角明證定律」（Law of Hero Identification）：所有主角俱是以「當其他人在談論其名聲（不論褒貶）時登場」或「以自己的聲音作為旁白以介紹自己」的形式作出介紹。

第九十三定律「吉祥物定律」（Law of Cute Mascots）：任何少年或少女俱必擁有至少一隻可愛的、嬌小玲瓏、毛茸茸的吉祥物。
．第一推論：對於少年漫畫，主角會有一隻貓、或狗、或任何種類的動物（不論真實、虛構），總之是可見於具備男性氣質的主角身邊的俱可，若有與女性相關的動物跟隨主角，則可能是因為：
　．這寵物屬於男主角的女朋友；
　．主角堅持反對此動物之尾隨卻事與願違；
　．這動物使得男主角在女性的心目中更有魅力。
．第二推論：對於少女漫畫，主角會有一隻貓、或老鼠、或一隻可愛得使人噁心的怪物、或任何種類的動物（不論真實、虛構），總之是可見於具備女性氣質的主角身邊的俱可，若有與男性相關的動物跟隨主角，則可能是因為：
　．這寵物屬於女主角的男朋友；
　．主角堅持反對此動物之尾隨卻事與願違；
　．這動物使得女主角更有魅力。

第九十四定律「命運原力定律」（Law of The Force）：大部分的主角都會受到一種能力所庇護，這種能力可以使得報應實現在罪有應得之人的身上，或者使得對主角的槍彈攻擊或者崩塌而下的石塊不會對主角造成任何傷害，儘管主角本身通常不會察覺這種能力的存在。以Vash the Stampede、Captain Justy Ueki Tylor 以及 Jar Jar Binks為實例。

第九十五定律「觸手劣行定律」（Law of Naughty Tentacles）：動漫世界裡，所有的觸手都會是非常好色的，牠們都會強姦任何的女性人類而不論其年齡。（「她只十八歲而已！不是！真的，她真的只有十八歲，我沒撒謊！」）
．第一推論：變態動漫作品裡的女性角色在被強姦或侵犯(molest)時，最後不會反抗之，並開始因為感到快慰而叫喊起來。沒有人知道為何，但有理論指出原因可能在於自觸手的外皮分泌(secrete)出來的化學品……
．第二推論：被觸手生物受孕(impregnate)的女性不會在早上感到不適，反而會感到極度舒暢，又稱「性欲極大值效應」。
．第三推論：所孕育而成的「後代」會立刻開啟其性慾，可能會使其「母親」再次受孕，處境與先前情況相似。

第九十六定律「女性非正規相鬥定律」（Law of Cat-Fighting）：兩名互相嫉妒(grudge)的女性會互相衝突，有時會導致衣物的破壞。當行動升級(escalate)時，就可能會造成經濟損失。
．第一推論：在邊跑邊打的情況下，會造成很大的破壞，閣下甚至可以能夠從其所引起的塵土看見遠方有鬥毆發生。（亦稱「A子-B子 現象」）。

第九十七定律「即時治癒定律」（Law of Healing）：大多數的動漫主角都會具備類似狼人的傷勢復原因子，這可以使得他們在數分鐘內復原骨折之類的重傷，「不死身」或許可以達致同樣效果。亦稱「Priss效應」。

第九十八定律「典型隊員特徵定律」（Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics）：對於一艘船艦，不論水空二者俱會有以下的成員種類：

1. 隊長
   
2. 隊長的隨從
   
3. 各式各樣的女性技術人員
   
4. 一名熟練的(hotshot)駕駛員
   
5. 一位可愛的小女孩/雙胞胎（可以是來搭便車的人(stowaway)）
   
6. 醫生
   
7. 醫生的隨從（可以是間諜）

這些隊員通常會有以下屬性的其中一項或數項：

1. 極具魅力
   
2. 極度幸運
   
3. 智謀過人
   
4. 善於鼓勵
   
5. 善於製造麻煩
   
6. 相貌可愛
   
7. 經常神智不清
   
8. 對同性戀產生厭惡
   
9. 毫無表情可言(麻木)

第九十九定律「閃光定律」（Law of Sparklies，劉參陽譯「特別效果象徵定律」）：當主角遇上其好感所在之角色時，在 主角 及/或 相應角色 的身邊會出現花朵、閃光，或者以蠟筆畫成的圖案。當愛情處於危險情況下，就會出現有又多又長的刺的玫瑰。雖然沒有人知道為何，但是，很多人已經得出一個理論：在動漫的人物是不能以常理衡量的。

第百定律「動漫事件定律」（Law of Anime Events）：有如摔角或足球比賽，在動漫世界，萬事俱有可能發生。
劉參陽譯註：正如 足球比賽旁白 伍晃榮所言「波係圓嘅（『球是圓的』，意指在足球場上，萬事俱有可能發生）」，願其在天國能夠安息。

劉參陽編譯日誌(暫定)

翻譯
原文複製
從缺定律33插入
互相參照定律之歸類
性質歸類．目錄編成
定律重新編碼

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目錄(暫定)

總項定律
常數可變系定律
變數守恆系定律
道德觀衍生定律
物理相關定律
生理相關定律
心理相關定律
社會相關定律
比例相關定律
色情相關定律．廣義
色情相關定律．狹義

Created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources

100 Rules of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
* Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. *NOTE: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.
*Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.
*Also, acid has been known to work just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
*Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome "Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
*Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

*#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

*#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

*#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff< So True!!)

*#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

*#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon")

*52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

+#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

+#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

+#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

+#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
b) The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

+#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

+#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look.
b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

+#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

+#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.)

+#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

+#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

+#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

+#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
*(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

+#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49)

+#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

+#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

+#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

+#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

+#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

+#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. *(see Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

+#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

+#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

+#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and exposition]),
b) Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

+#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

+#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

+#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. *(see Laws 32 & 48)

+#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

*#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...

*#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

*#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.

*#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.

*#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

*#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

*#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84)

*#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
b) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.

*#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

*#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

*#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

*#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

*#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.

*#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

*#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

*#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

*#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

*#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")

*#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

*#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobicness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

*#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

*#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

Created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources